urban warfare

When I was in Gothenburg at christmas time I had an idea. It's taken a while for this idea to make it to the blog, but hey I've been busy.

Let's recap. Some women (and some men) treat pushchairs (strollers for non-brits) as bulldozers (see my first post on the subject here) and it winds me up. Then I found out it's not just me.

Anyway, I was in this shopping centre in Gothenburg. It being christmas, it was absolutely packed with people and it was pretty hard to get to where you wanted to be. Everywhere you turned the way was blocked by a tide of swedes. And it was at this moment that a business idea formed in my mind.

Avis-Buggies

It goes like this. You enter the too-busy shopping centre and realise that today is not going to be pleasant. You need a weapon of mass diversion, to clear your path through the throng. A pushchair buggy and a child. Avis-Buggies rents you this (with fake child) and you can drop it off to any of the depots near the shopping centre doors and car parks when you leave. In between time, you are armed. By the cultural acceptability of piercing the crowd, wielding your child like a weapon. No-one will say anything, just wear the harrassed-mum's glare and you'll be fine (avis buggies will supply an easy 1-2-3 guide to this frown if you find it difficult). You can get your christmas shopping done in double time and with half the stress.

Child upgrades would be available so you can choose the appropriate realism level for your budget. From your basic plastic doll, right through to the realistic skin and hair. The deluxe model even craps it's pants after a random timeout, enabling you to push aggressively through the crowds going 'sorry, sorry, little william needs his nappy changing, i must get to the bathrooms...'

patent pending :)